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So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 3:36 pm
by ZirconiumX
I am no longer going to be an active member until at least the end of the year, probably until the end of next year.

I have two main reasons:
  • Family issues. Mum has recently been diagnosed with cancer in her right hip, and this comes on top of her having surgery to replace her left knee joint, which was claimed by cancer in 2001. I have also been struggling with depression recently, to the extent where I have attempted to commit suicide several times. This has made me more than a bit ratty, leading to
  • Forum issues. Several people have declared that they no longer wish to support me, though I have yet to know the reasons why other than 'their patience has run out'. I wish that these people would tell me their reasons, harsh or not, so I can improve my forum behaviour.
  • But generally, this forum is not a nice place to visit. I can see why Anthony Cozzie quit, why Marek gave up on Sting: because people here are obsessed with Elo. They run games and are interested in the results, not the games themselves. There are, however nice people here, I openly compliment Sven Schüle for being harsh, but kind.
Well, farewell.

Matthew:out

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:02 pm
by Adam Hair
ZirconiumX wrote:I am no longer going to be an active member until at least the end of the year, probably until the end of next year.

I have two main reasons:
  • Family issues. Mum has recently been diagnosed with cancer in her right hip, and this comes on top of her having surgery to replace her left knee joint, which was claimed by cancer in 2001. I have also been struggling with depression recently, to the extent where I have attempted to commit suicide several times. This has made me more than a bit ratty, leading to
The other two items are really non-issues. Your mother's physical ailments and your psychological health are the important things. I hope that your mother's bone cancer can be treated and controlled. And I sincerely hope you can find the way to battle your depression. I have dealt with that issue myself. Unfortunately, I have no sage advice that will make everything better for you. Several of us find you to be quite impressive, and if you can find the way to deal with your internal and external problems, I believe you will accomplish much in your life.

Hope to see you back here one day,
Adam
ZirconiumX wrote: [*] Forum issues. Several people have declared that they no longer wish to support me, though I have yet to know the reasons why other than 'their patience has run out'. I wish that these people would tell me their reasons, harsh or not, so I can improve my forum behaviour.
[*] But generally, this forum is not a nice place to visit. I can see why Anthony Cozzie quit, why Marek gave up on Sting: because people here are obsessed with Elo. They run games and are interested in the results, not the games themselves. There are, however nice people here, I openly compliment Sven Schüle for being harsh, but kind.
[/list]

Well, farewell.

Matthew:out

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:03 pm
by karger
Best of luck and I hope your mother does well. John karger

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:15 pm
by GenoM
wish you and your family all the best

regards,
Geno

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:46 pm
by zullil
Matthew,

My best wishes.

I hope you choose to return here as soon as you are able to do so.

Louis

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 4:57 pm
by Don
Matthew,

I am sorry to see you go. My first reaction is to tell you not to go, but the reality is that it will probably be the best thing for you since the forum is not exactly a place for one to go to find peace. Others have left for their own sanity!

So I wish you the very best. Take care of what needs to be taken care of and surround yourself with family and people who are true friends.

ZirconiumX wrote:I am no longer going to be an active member until at least the end of the year, probably until the end of next year.

I have two main reasons:
  • Family issues. Mum has recently been diagnosed with cancer in her right hip, and this comes on top of her having surgery to replace her left knee joint, which was claimed by cancer in 2001. I have also been struggling with depression recently, to the extent where I have attempted to commit suicide several times. This has made me more than a bit ratty, leading to
  • Forum issues. Several people have declared that they no longer wish to support me, though I have yet to know the reasons why other than 'their patience has run out'. I wish that these people would tell me their reasons, harsh or not, so I can improve my forum behaviour.
  • But generally, this forum is not a nice place to visit. I can see why Anthony Cozzie quit, why Marek gave up on Sting: because people here are obsessed with Elo. They run games and are interested in the results, not the games themselves. There are, however nice people here, I openly compliment Sven Schüle for being harsh, but kind.
Well, farewell.

Matthew:out

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 5:51 pm
by mar
Sorry to see you go Matthew.
Sometimes there are disputes between people but that's life.
I couldn't believe my eyes however when I read Don's post. Honestly I don't know what to think :roll:

Best wishes

Martin

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:14 pm
by velmarin
You are a young, very young but extremely intelligent.

Relax and find peace and health
  for you and your mother.

You have left their mark and will be waiting.
Best wishes and if something needs, do not hesitate ...
Greetings Chema.

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:51 pm
by Graham Banks
ZirconiumX wrote:I am no longer going to be an active member until at least the end of the year, probably until the end of next year.

I have two main reasons:
  • Family issues. Mum has recently been diagnosed with cancer in her right hip, and this comes on top of her having surgery to replace her left knee joint, which was claimed by cancer in 2001. I have also been struggling with depression recently, to the extent where I have attempted to commit suicide several times. This has made me more than a bit ratty, leading to
  • Forum issues. Several people have declared that they no longer wish to support me, though I have yet to know the reasons why other than 'their patience has run out'. I wish that these people would tell me their reasons, harsh or not, so I can improve my forum behaviour.
  • But generally, this forum is not a nice place to visit. I can see why Anthony Cozzie quit, why Marek gave up on Sting: because people here are obsessed with Elo. They run games and are interested in the results, not the games themselves. There are, however nice people here, I openly compliment Sven Schüle for being harsh, but kind.
Well, farewell.

Matthew:out
Hope things turn out okay for your mother.

Just remember that you have your whole life ahead of you and that most things that happen are likely to be positive.
Depression and suicidal thoughts amongst young people are more common than you might think. I hope that you keep things together.

Life is full of bastards, but most people here are okay. Those that aren't, you learn it's best to ignore them as much as possible. They usually have the problem, not you.

Hope you come back soon.

Re: So long

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 11:05 pm
by meschle
Hi Matthew, i am so sorry you feel this way. i used to suffer with depression and my dad suffered badly with cancer. Thankfully i had my faith and God and his love has brought me through it. i will pray for you, some people use the forum to let off steam, i just accept it as so and dont let it stop me enjoying computer chess. Take care.