So long

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Mincho Georgiev
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Re: So long

Post by Mincho Georgiev » Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:57 am

I hope you get back when you're able to and give us some good news. That is my wish to you! Best!

kinderchocolate
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Re: So long

Post by kinderchocolate » Fri Aug 24, 2012 6:50 am

Wish you the best. Seriously, you don't need to be sad of the people here that you've never met.

Sven
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Re: So long

Post by Sven » Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:53 am

Hi Matthew,

I wish you all the best and hope that everything turns out well for your mother and yourself. Also I'd suggest that you fight as much as you can, using your intelligence and your abilities to manage your life, whatever happens. Don't give up. And if necessary, don't hesitate to call for help: from your friends, from people who you trust, and possibly even from people who are educated to help in such cases.

As to the "forum" stuff: it might be best to take it as an experience that makes you even stronger.

Good luck, and I hope to see you back soon!

So long,
Sven

P.S.: You have my mail address ...

PK
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Re: So long

Post by PK » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:27 am

Matthew,

I wish You all good luck needed in this difficult circumstances.

One piece of advice that You might have already came across, but even in that case it is worth repeating: depression is a difficult opponent, but one that You can fight. And it's best done on two fronts simultaneously: You would need BOTH sensible medication and sensible psychotherapy. One cannot replace another here: psychotherapy is a slow process (though I'd recommend trying some short-term approach ASAP), whereas medicines are capable of changing brain chemistry, but have no influence on why brain produces not enough serotonine in first place.

I have had some good experiences with cognitive-behavioral therapists in the past, precisely because they tend to break down one big problem into smaller, and therefore doable chunks. At first it might seem like avoiding the main problem. For example You might hear more about motivation or sleeping well than about depession per se, but if You work on that issues, then You actually alleviate symptoms of depression.

Personally I have the impression that behaviorists have a manner of working which seems a bit "cold" and it might be strangely reassuring when You come to them with a "hot" problem.

BTW, it was nice to read that FruitFly had some stuff from Rodent.

Good luck once again

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Rolf
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Re: So long

Post by Rolf » Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:04 am

ZirconiumX wrote:I am no longer going to be an active member until at least the end of the year, probably until the end of next year.
Hi,

without knowing you yet, let me give you some feedback. Let's be honest. You have a computerchess hobby and for your own good please stay in contact reading the subforum for TOURNAMENTS and ignore the rest. If you hesitate and cant decide then read at least casually messages from Graham Banks there, he's always reporting about new attempts and products.

Such a wonderful hobby is good for your sanity but I agree with you totally that else you cant expect anything. I know what I'm talking about and have about 15 years now of membership here. But my private personal problems were completely kept out of this and to the best of me.

Such an internet forum isnt the place with people who could solve your private problems. Some have already given their advice what you must do and forcedly did in the past. And you are not the only one with such problems. Life is a bit more complex than a fight in chess.

You know what? I never saw someone making such a nicely formatted message. Maybe you have much more talents waiting for a start? -All the best
-Popper and Lakatos are good but I'm stuck on Leibowitz

lech
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Re: So long

Post by lech » Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:07 am

I'm sorry Matthew, I understand you.
In April, my mother passed away. For a half year I took care of her alone, and she lay dying day after day. In the last day, I worked at Sting, and she died.

BTW. I like this place, even if this place does'nt like me.
Believe me, there are much worse places.
Sting SF 3 rather be.
Maybe, I can't be friendly, but let me be useful.

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gleperlier
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Re: So long

Post by gleperlier » Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:40 pm

Hi Matthew,

Take care of your mother and take computer chess only as a hobby, no matter to complain here, just to talk about it with the good guys.

All the best,

Gab

smatovic
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Re: So long

Post by smatovic » Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:52 pm

Keep it up Matthew,

Computer-Chess as hobby is sometimes like a rollercoaster, many retire but some come back again.

I wish the best for you and your family.

--
Srdja

gerold
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Re: So long

Post by gerold » Fri Aug 24, 2012 6:37 pm

No advice for depression from me. I have never had it. My wife had it for years sure made it hard on people around her. Except when she was free of it which was about half the time. She tried suicide a couple of times just lucky i come home in time from work to prevent death. She passed away 20 years ago. Still miss her. Took care of my Mother for 10 years when she became disable and worked full time job. That was very hard on me but me and my Brother could not put her in one of them stupid homes to die.

I spend a lot of time in CCC it has helped me recover from 2 heart operations. Chess is my second life. :-) I like all in here. They may help you when you need it which is very good. They may give you hell sometimes just to be mean haha. :-)

I love to play chess as you may also. I would play more games in here but can't fine anyone as strong as me to give me a battle. :-)_.

Good luck and i am sure you will be back. Maybe under a different name. Does not matter.

Best to you,
Gerold.

jefk
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Re: So long

Post by jefk » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:59 pm

[quote="PK"]Matthew,
that case it is worth repeating: depression is a difficult opponent, but one that You can fight. And it's best done on two fronts simultaneously: You would need BOTH sensible medication and sensible psychotherapy. One cannot replace another here: psychotherapy is a slow process (though I'd recommend trying some short-term approach ASAP), whereas medicines are capable of changing brain chemistry, but have no influence on why brain produces not enough serotonine in first place.<

good advice, and it shows there also are some
social people in computer chess.. :)

and i would like to add that if Matthew cant find professional
help on short notice like you're suggesting (therapy can be costly, and medication takes weeks before it works) then at least you shouldnt
give up hope and maybe a site like this can help a little:
https://www.superbetter.com/

no i'm certainly not affiliated, and not selling anything, the
stuff on this site may look also a bit simple maybe, and not to be
confused with professional help (a home physician should be the first
to contact in case of serious problems), but just coincidentally it tried
it for free for a few days since last week a/o because of some little
physical problems(*) and it looks i made some improvements,
a bit like two steps up, one down, but overall doing rather well

so you might try it for a while, good luck
(if M still can see this message otherwise maybe someone
eg an admin can forward it if he would be so kind)

jef









I have had some good experiences with cognitive-behavioral therapists in the past, precisely because they tend to break down one big problem into smaller, and therefore doable chunks. At first it might seem like avoiding the main problem. For example You might hear more about motivation or sleeping well than about depession per se, but if You work on that issues, then You actually alleviate symptoms of depression.

Personally I have the impression that behaviorists have a manner of working which seems a bit "cold" and it might be strangely reassuring when You come to them with a "hot" problem.

BTW, it was nice to read that FruitFly had some stuff from Rodent.

Good luck once again[/quote]
jefk

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